Mostly bad ones.
Ok, I'm no Grinch when it comes to Christmas Music; I have a large pile of it myself. My problem is that every pop star idiot of the day thinks that they can and should make one. And most of them suck. Seriously, is anyone digging out their Mariah Carey Christmas disk and playing it year after year? I doubt it.
What really galls me is when you have some dubious talent (you know who you are Billy Idol, LeeAnn Rimes, Donna Summer, etc) take on a classic like 'White Christmas'. 
Come on, Bing Crosby OWNS this song. It's burned into our brains. Your lame ass cover is not adding anything to it. It is an unwritten law that if you can't add anything to the original when you cover a song, you should not cover it at all.
With that in mind, here my list of xmas tunes that are already owned:
- White Christmas - Bing Crosby
- Blue Christmas - Elvis
- The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole
Ok, so there are TONS of songs that can be improved upon. Pick one of those. Seriously. Ever hear a version of 'Holly and the Ivy" that really worked? I didn't think so.
Christmas Songs I Hate
Santa Baby - Ick. A paean to greed.
The 12 Days of Christmas - I hear that they use this for torture purposes down at Guantanamo.
Holiday disks that I like:
Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful Christmas
Zat you Santa Claus?
Asylum Street Spankers - A Christmas Spanking
Good silliness.
The Chieftains - The Bells of Dublin
Worth it for 'The Saint Stephen's Day Murders' (with Elvis Costello) alone.
Vince Guaraldi - A Charlie Brown Christmas
What needs to be said?
Kristen Hersh - The Holy Single
What are the holidays without a little angst?
Aimee Mann - Another Drifter in the Snow
Aimee Mann did a Christmas album?!? Yeah, and it is surprisingly traditional and great where it isn't.
Dean Martin - Christmas with Dino
Dino has a great voice for the Xmas standards. His version of 'Baby its cold outside' is positively leacherous.
Leon Redbone - Christmas Island
The baritone is in fine form here. 'There's no place like home for the holidays' has never been done better. Hey, he even makes 'Frosty the Snowman' not suck, and that is saying something.
(various)- Blue Yule
Christmas aint all jolly; this is great when you get the blues.
[Apology to those who receive my annual e-mail based Christmas Rant - Yes, this is a retread topic.]
6 comments:
Ok, have to add a couple things here, not that you forgot them but because I think they are worth mentioning.
There is one version of 12 Days of Xmas that is worth listening to, the 12 Pains of Christmas, almost makes the tune listenable.
If I have to hear another Muppet version of a Christmas song, I am going to stuff Miss Piggy for Christmas dinner. And another thing, if Trans-Siberian Orchestra
is played over the Wally World Culture Crushing Mega Store chain, you know the world is coming to an end as we know it.
Ok, enough said, please go about your regular xmas festivities.
There's a whole wealth of bad xmas music I didn't touch on...the novelty songs: "Grandma got run over by a reindeer"; the bad traditional songs: "O Little town of Bethlehem", not to mention all of the throwaway hip-hop and country tunes trying to make a quick buck on the holidays.
Ok, enough bitching, back to shopping.
Noticeable by its absence in your list of your favorites is A Lump of Coal which contains the absolutely scary The Night Before Christmas as performed by Henry Rollins, complete with helicopters and automatic weapons...
For what it's worth, I also like the Roches version of Frosty the Snowman done with Bronx accents.
re; O' Little Town of Bethleham, try the Young Fresh Fellows version on the aforementioned Lump of Coal.
Merry Christmas!
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